1. Is a relationship what you want right now?
Each person is at different stages in life. Some are focused on their career, some are focused on family and some are rolling with the waves of life.
Is a relationship something you would like at this stage in your life? If so, continue reading.
If not, that’s okay. You can still keep reading.
2. What are your expectations in a relationship?
Being clear about each others’ expectations can be beneficial to long-term companionship.
For example, do you prefer cooking or shopping alone? Are you the team-type and like to get errands done together? Do you hang out with your friends often and expect your partner to tag along?
Knowing what you’re both in for, is a great way to deepen understanding in the beginning.
3. Do you see a future with this person?
You’ve spent time getting to know them — great. Are they someone you can envision your future with? I’m not just talking about marriage, babies, and a house or two.
I’m talking about partnership.
Do you get along well? Do you feel supported in trying times? Do you feel challenged from time to time? Can you see yourself growing as a person with them by your side?
Life is a mixed bag! If you’re stepping into a relationship with someone, it is helpful to know whether they’re the type of person to stick it through or walk out when times get tough.
4. Do you have similar values and mindset?
Most people enjoy having differing views from the person next to them. It adds to our knowledge, challenges biases and expands our way of thinking.
However, similar values and mindset can also have the same benefits. Growing together doesn’t always involve disagreeing and arguing about who’s right or wrong. It can mean finding common ground in what you both value in life and in career. It can mean both believing in the growth mindset — cultivating change through personal effort.
Having extremely differing views may result in resentment or feelings of loneliness in a relationship.
Don’t compare yourself
One of the most common things I notice people doing (myself included) is comparing someone’s relationship — celebrity or a friends’ — to my own.
At the end of the day, what matters is if you feel content and fulfilled regardless of your love life. I am a believer in being able to spend time with yourself, and not just “jumping” into a relationship out of loneliness.
Once you know and understand your own needs, responsibilities and expectations, you can be honest before you start a new relationship.