5 Reasons To Take The Love Language Quiz

Four years ago, I saw “The 5 Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman on a list of recommended books to read.

Around the same time, I watched a news segment where a celebrity couple spoke about how learning their Love Language changed their perspective about expressing love.

I headed to the website from Google and read a short run-down of how learning love languages can help you connect with your significant other.

I was intrigued.

After 15 minutes, I had taken the quiz and received a list of what my Love Languages were. I then convinced my boyfriend to take the quiz too. There was a small part of me that wondered if these could actually help in a relationship…

My Love Language Result:

  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Acts of Service
  3. Quality Time
  4. Receiving Gifts
  5. Physical Touch

My boyfriend’s Love Language Result:

  1. Physical Touch
  2. Words of Affirmation
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Quality Time
  5. Acts of Service

After mulling over each other’s results, I was pretty shocked. This explained why I felt elated whenever Luke would help me with errands and why I’d feel content just spending one-to-one time with him. This also explained why Luke would hug longer than I was used to and why he appreciated every gift I bought him.

Not only was it interesting, but it helped us understand each other on a deeper level. It facilitated conversations we would never have had if it wasn’t for the quiz!

Here are 5 reasons why this quiz could help you!

1. There’s more to learn.

Although we both felt loved and appreciated by each other, there was yet more to learn! Of course, just because a Love Language was on the bottom of the list, it didn’t mean we hated it — it was something that we could work on and improve.

I thought about others in my life and how they express love. We’re all so different! Depending on our personality, upbringing and close social interactions, we can express our love for each other in a myriad of ways.

Learning isn’t just for the classroom!

2. Opposites don’t always attract.

I realised that Luke and I would occasionally show each other love in opposite ways: Luke would be quite close in proximity while I would shy away. I would want to spend time with him, while he would buy me gifts. Although we appreciated these gestures of love, we weren’t completely connected.

In other words, we were speaking different ‘love languages’.

We’d be told all the time that we balance each other out as a couple. Luke is a planner, while I am spontaneous. I am creativity-minded, while Luke is logical and good with numbers.

To an extent, opposites can attract but when you’re constantly on a different page to your partner, it can cause discord. We may feel frustrated, misunderstood, misheard and even lonely. Sound familiar?

3. Understand and empathise.

Luke and I discussed what we thought of our results and we agreed to do our best to express our affection in ways that would be meaningful. We also made it a priority to always communicate if we felt uncomfortable, hurt or misunderstood by the other person. We worked on empathising with the other and did our best to understand each other’s perspective.

In a small but sure way, this helped us to be aware of those in our inner and outer circle. We may come from different, extreme or similar walks in life, but we all show love in universal ways.

4. Challenge each other.

I became more open to physical affection and challenged Luke to respect personal space. In the same way, Luke continued to help me with errands but also challenged me to become more independent.

This was a great exercise for us to trust each other more and lean in to the process of trial and error.

Challenge. Trust. Communicate.

5. Evidence based self-awareness.

It may sound “wishy-washy”, but you only need to look at Harry Harlow’s study of infant monkeys. It shone a light on the importance of maternal contact and the need for comfort in order to survive. This can extend to connection between partners, friends and even co-workers. One of our basic needs is to be loved, according to Maslow.

It is important to know ourselves mentally, emotionally and physically. It doesn’t have to include every single layer of our lives, but it can be beneficial for us to know our strengths, weaknesses, and what goals drive us. This can inform how and why we relate to others in the world in the way that we do.

Once we are aware of what makes us ‘tick’, we can feel confident in:

  • Decision-making
  • Setting boundaries
  • Trying something new like traveling alone
  • Creating and maintaining healthy relationships

Knowing what makes us feel loved and cared for can set the foundation for deep and enriching relationships! The world would be a much better place if we had more informed love and care.

What are your Love Languages? Is there something you’d like to explore or improve in your relationships and how you relate to yourself?

Your local well-being enthusiast! I love learning and sharing about mental health, mindset, love and life lessons. Follow along at thetinyhealer.com :)

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